I cannot stop listening to this album by Francesca Battistelli! I've heard mixed reviews of her music...like, some of the Christian people I know think her music is cheesy...or a little too playful. With music, I like to have my own opinion of it. So naturally, I gave her albums a listen on my own. I usually listen to albums, because the radio singles aren't nearly enough to define an artists sound...or even the overall message of the album.
Her first album, I can say it was a little playful...but it had some great songs that still speak to me. (I'm Letting Go, Time In Between, Unpredictable). However...her second album was even more heartfelt. Every song had a special story to tell, and it related to me big time. It got me through some college stress, and even some church hurt. (Something More, Strangely Dim, Don't Miss It, It's Love).
After giving ALL of her music a good listen, I have come to a conclusion that if people don't like her...they just have no heart basically. This is some good stuff! Like seriously, I sit in my car and claim every blessing and every encouragement that she delivers. She really hits home with those lyrics, not to mention the catchy beats.
Her latest effort though...is by far her best album EVER. It is called "If We're Honest" and it is amazing! Literally every song speaks to me in a different way. It really met me in the middle of a tough season of healing, restoration, and preparation. God has been speaking to me through this album in ways that I have never experienced before.
Lately, in this season of post college grad-life, it has been a little tough. Finding work is tough, keeping your confidence high is tough, and basically figuring out who you are is just tough. There's so many questions, desires, and requests being made, that you think you're getting on God's nerves. My future seems like a huge giant, and I feel like a small David with a baby stone.
Also, I left college with so much baggage from stuff that happened (mostly in church). I went through a lot of exclusion and rejection. I felt screwed over in a place where I should have found love and acceptance. I was treated as spiritually weak, and I allowed myself to be deceived in the way I saw myself spiritually. I could have left, but I didn't. I didn't listen to God, and I hated myself because of that.
I felt like I was nothing but nice and good to those around me, and I never saw the blessing I was promised in Galatians. I had grown weary in doing good, and I was so angry.
See, right here....this was me. Being honest. That's something that some Christians lack. They aren't honest. They go around promoting perfection, and if you struggle...you are doing something wrong. Well, if you're honest...with yourself, and with God. He will help you, and He will know you in a much deeper sense.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect, because I am way far from it. But what I am saying is that I am not afraid to tell you when I am not doing so hot. No one should be afraid to do that.
Anyway, I would like to share more about the songs...but maybe in another post. I have so much to say about this album. But this is how it related to me. I will share more about my favorite songs in tomorrow's post.
Be honest. Come as you are. =)
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Whole Again
So, this week's post will be a music post.
I listen to a ton of music, and right now I'm on a huge contemporary Christian phase. This song has been one of my favorites lately.
This song is called "Whole Again" and it is by Jennifer Knapp. Does anyone remember her? She's pretty awesome, and she's come a long way since her Christian music days. However, God's words never come back void, and I know she appreciates hearing how people still listen to her early material.
This is one of her really old songs, and it is really speaking to me now.
It is about someone who is wanting to be healed, but isn't sure how to ask for it. The song is like a prayer from someone who hasn't been on their knees in a long while, and they are kind of ashamed of how broken they've become. I think that is a lot like how some people get. For me, it is quite frequently. I had to learn that God really means it when He says, "Come as you are." Sometimes, I don't want to...I hide, just like Adam in the garden.
Lately it's been a thing where I am just too hurt, or too disappointed to pray. In the back of my mind, I know that I need to be put back together again. One can only go so long while broken. The song says:
If I give my life,
If I lay it down,
Can You turn this life around?
Can I be made clean,
By this offering of my soul?
Can I be made whole again?
Of course, the answer is yes, but how easy is it to believe it? That's something that has always been a challenge for me since I was a little boy. I'm a type that wants things instantaneously, so I can move forward. Although, I am aware that healing and faith is not something that you can instantly get...it takes some effort. We have an adversary that comes and tries to make us give up even before we begin to try to get up out of our hurt. For some people, he wins.
I know I don't want him to win, because he is already defeated. He has no victory, the Bible says so. That is where we can find hope. God is on our side no matter what, and He has the victory no matter what. When, Where, Why, and How Long shouldn't matter, because He has it figured out already. The key is to trust Him, just like you'd trust your best friend...or your significant other.
In my life, I have experienced so much, and I have made it through so much...it's incredible. I've gone through loss, grief, bullying, exclusion, betrayal, and much disappointment. So yeah, I'm a broken man. Have I let that stop me from saying that I believe there's a God? Absolutely not.
If there was no hope at all for me, I probably would not be here writing this blog...
With all that I've gone through...I realize that being mad at God won't make it better. In fact, clinging to Him gives me even more comfort...because He is a comforter. He knows why we are going through whatever we're going through...even though we might not understand why. Just the fact that He knows why, and that He'll use it to help someone one day just makes me feel a little better about it.
Right now is the time for me to continue reaching for God's hands to pull me through, instead of other things. I need to get up, and try to inch myself forward. I don't know where anyone's life may be, but I encourage you to keep looking to Him...even when things are good. Thinking that you're "all good" is probably the most prideful thing that someone could say. I've heard that so many times, and for a while I longed to be there...but now I realize that it wouldn't be honest. We always need God, and that is the truth (no matter what man has said). Because He is the only one who can truly make us whole again.
Listen to Whole again here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW8rSJFH9MI
I listen to a ton of music, and right now I'm on a huge contemporary Christian phase. This song has been one of my favorites lately.
This song is called "Whole Again" and it is by Jennifer Knapp. Does anyone remember her? She's pretty awesome, and she's come a long way since her Christian music days. However, God's words never come back void, and I know she appreciates hearing how people still listen to her early material.
This is one of her really old songs, and it is really speaking to me now.
It is about someone who is wanting to be healed, but isn't sure how to ask for it. The song is like a prayer from someone who hasn't been on their knees in a long while, and they are kind of ashamed of how broken they've become. I think that is a lot like how some people get. For me, it is quite frequently. I had to learn that God really means it when He says, "Come as you are." Sometimes, I don't want to...I hide, just like Adam in the garden.
Lately it's been a thing where I am just too hurt, or too disappointed to pray. In the back of my mind, I know that I need to be put back together again. One can only go so long while broken. The song says:
If I give my life,
If I lay it down,
Can You turn this life around?
Can I be made clean,
By this offering of my soul?
Can I be made whole again?
Of course, the answer is yes, but how easy is it to believe it? That's something that has always been a challenge for me since I was a little boy. I'm a type that wants things instantaneously, so I can move forward. Although, I am aware that healing and faith is not something that you can instantly get...it takes some effort. We have an adversary that comes and tries to make us give up even before we begin to try to get up out of our hurt. For some people, he wins.
I know I don't want him to win, because he is already defeated. He has no victory, the Bible says so. That is where we can find hope. God is on our side no matter what, and He has the victory no matter what. When, Where, Why, and How Long shouldn't matter, because He has it figured out already. The key is to trust Him, just like you'd trust your best friend...or your significant other.
In my life, I have experienced so much, and I have made it through so much...it's incredible. I've gone through loss, grief, bullying, exclusion, betrayal, and much disappointment. So yeah, I'm a broken man. Have I let that stop me from saying that I believe there's a God? Absolutely not.
If there was no hope at all for me, I probably would not be here writing this blog...
With all that I've gone through...I realize that being mad at God won't make it better. In fact, clinging to Him gives me even more comfort...because He is a comforter. He knows why we are going through whatever we're going through...even though we might not understand why. Just the fact that He knows why, and that He'll use it to help someone one day just makes me feel a little better about it.
Right now is the time for me to continue reaching for God's hands to pull me through, instead of other things. I need to get up, and try to inch myself forward. I don't know where anyone's life may be, but I encourage you to keep looking to Him...even when things are good. Thinking that you're "all good" is probably the most prideful thing that someone could say. I've heard that so many times, and for a while I longed to be there...but now I realize that it wouldn't be honest. We always need God, and that is the truth (no matter what man has said). Because He is the only one who can truly make us whole again.
Listen to Whole again here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW8rSJFH9MI
Friday, June 6, 2014
Confessions of a Person in Waiting
In this world, I see a ton of things...and I want a ton of things. Of course, I can't have them all. I'm okay with that. I know they will come in time. Patience, they say, is a virtue....honestly I think it is the most painful virtue ever.
With patience comes waiting...and that is so hard for me. (Especially since I am a natural fidgeter...and I cannot stay still to save my life.) While waiting, you see people go before you....some people go before you who weren't even waiting for as long as you are....and you see people cut in line...you see people have special privileges to get ahead....the list goes on and on. But you wait patiently....awaiting for your name to be called, and for the door to open.
Who else is in a time of waiting? I admit, that it is frustrating, and most days you just pace the floor wondering when your turn will come. I distinctly remember someone from my church in Lubbock ask me if I was frustrated....like I shouldn't be. It really didn't help me feel better about my situation, nor did it encourage me to be happy. It just made me feel belittled, and that I was weaker than everyone. "Because a child of God, should NEVER feel frustrated." Of course, I could choose to be angry at the way he made me feel when he asked me that, but now I'm just learning how to treat others better from that.
If you feel frustrated, give it to God. Talk to Him about it. It really lets off steam, and He listens better than this person did for me, and better than anyone else in this world. Friends who claim to be there for you won't be there when you need them, but God always remains. Even though I cannot see Him, I know He's there...I just refuse to speak to Him because I think that He's making me wait.
It's not fair to see things work out for people you think don't deserve it. You probably think that you deserve the blessing even more so than person A or person B. I say this, because I have thought these very things...and I've only ended up more angry and frustrated than before.
The solution to frustration in waiting is to remember what God's word says. John 14:14 says if you ask anything in Jesus' name He will do it.
To the people who feel like they are being cheated of a blessing...Galatians 6:9 says do not grow weary of doing good, because in DUE TIME we will REAP a HARVEST. If we DON'T GIVE UP.
And this classic gem, Romans 8:28 says God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the GOOD of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
These three are my favorites, but there are SO MANY MORE in the Bible about how God's faithfulness is so amazing and outstanding. Even though we may feel like there's nothing coming our way, or even when we feel like we've sinned way too much for any blessing to come our way...God is so faithful that His blessings will come when we least expect it. Just keep on focussing on Him.
Day by day I am learning to do just that as I figure out the plan that God has for my life. I'm not saying that it's easy...because people can be really ugly along the way (Even people in church). What I need to learn, and many many others in this world need to learn, is to forgive those people and love them regardless of what they've done. God does it for us, so we need to be like Him and do the same. Galatians 6:10 says to continue doing good, even to the people in the family of faith. So yes, I know I must continue to love my Christian brothers and sisters...even though they are not perfect.
So keep your chins up and lets sit and wait together! When our turn comes, we will be smiling and cheering each other on...and not grumbling about it. Encourage those who are feeling frustrated, and comfort them. It'll only make the waiting easier for them.
Remember, in order to have a taste of Heaven on Earth...leave your Hell behind.
Oh and speaking of things I'm waiting for....I have been waiting for another theatre opportunity ever since I graduated college...and it's finally here. Tonight is the opening night of one of the biggest shows I have ever done! It is a step above everything I have ever done in my acting career and I believe it will only get better!!
God is SO faithful! See you all next week!
With patience comes waiting...and that is so hard for me. (Especially since I am a natural fidgeter...and I cannot stay still to save my life.) While waiting, you see people go before you....some people go before you who weren't even waiting for as long as you are....and you see people cut in line...you see people have special privileges to get ahead....the list goes on and on. But you wait patiently....awaiting for your name to be called, and for the door to open.
Who else is in a time of waiting? I admit, that it is frustrating, and most days you just pace the floor wondering when your turn will come. I distinctly remember someone from my church in Lubbock ask me if I was frustrated....like I shouldn't be. It really didn't help me feel better about my situation, nor did it encourage me to be happy. It just made me feel belittled, and that I was weaker than everyone. "Because a child of God, should NEVER feel frustrated." Of course, I could choose to be angry at the way he made me feel when he asked me that, but now I'm just learning how to treat others better from that.
If you feel frustrated, give it to God. Talk to Him about it. It really lets off steam, and He listens better than this person did for me, and better than anyone else in this world. Friends who claim to be there for you won't be there when you need them, but God always remains. Even though I cannot see Him, I know He's there...I just refuse to speak to Him because I think that He's making me wait.
It's not fair to see things work out for people you think don't deserve it. You probably think that you deserve the blessing even more so than person A or person B. I say this, because I have thought these very things...and I've only ended up more angry and frustrated than before.
The solution to frustration in waiting is to remember what God's word says. John 14:14 says if you ask anything in Jesus' name He will do it.
To the people who feel like they are being cheated of a blessing...Galatians 6:9 says do not grow weary of doing good, because in DUE TIME we will REAP a HARVEST. If we DON'T GIVE UP.
And this classic gem, Romans 8:28 says God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the GOOD of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
These three are my favorites, but there are SO MANY MORE in the Bible about how God's faithfulness is so amazing and outstanding. Even though we may feel like there's nothing coming our way, or even when we feel like we've sinned way too much for any blessing to come our way...God is so faithful that His blessings will come when we least expect it. Just keep on focussing on Him.
Day by day I am learning to do just that as I figure out the plan that God has for my life. I'm not saying that it's easy...because people can be really ugly along the way (Even people in church). What I need to learn, and many many others in this world need to learn, is to forgive those people and love them regardless of what they've done. God does it for us, so we need to be like Him and do the same. Galatians 6:10 says to continue doing good, even to the people in the family of faith. So yes, I know I must continue to love my Christian brothers and sisters...even though they are not perfect.
So keep your chins up and lets sit and wait together! When our turn comes, we will be smiling and cheering each other on...and not grumbling about it. Encourage those who are feeling frustrated, and comfort them. It'll only make the waiting easier for them.
Remember, in order to have a taste of Heaven on Earth...leave your Hell behind.
Oh and speaking of things I'm waiting for....I have been waiting for another theatre opportunity ever since I graduated college...and it's finally here. Tonight is the opening night of one of the biggest shows I have ever done! It is a step above everything I have ever done in my acting career and I believe it will only get better!!
God is SO faithful! See you all next week!
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