Whole Again

So, this week's post will be a music post.

I listen to a ton of music, and right now I'm on a huge contemporary Christian phase. This song has been one of my favorites lately.

This song is called "Whole Again" and it is by Jennifer Knapp. Does anyone remember her? She's pretty awesome, and she's come a long way since her Christian music days. However, God's words never come back void, and I know she appreciates hearing how people still listen to her early material.

This is one of her really old songs, and it is really speaking to me now.

It is about someone who is wanting to be healed, but isn't sure how to ask for it. The song is like a prayer from someone who hasn't been on their knees in a long while, and they are kind of ashamed of how broken they've become. I think that is a lot like how some people get. For me, it is quite frequently. I had to learn that God really means it when He says, "Come as you are." Sometimes, I don't want to...I hide, just like Adam in the garden.

Lately it's been a thing where I am just too hurt, or too disappointed to pray. In the back of my mind, I know that I need to be put back together again. One can only go so long while broken.  The song says:

If I give my life,
If I lay it down,
Can You turn this life around?

Can I be made clean,
By this offering of my soul?
Can I be made whole again?

Of course, the answer is yes, but how easy is it to believe it? That's something that has always been a challenge for me since I was a little boy. I'm a type that wants things instantaneously, so I can move forward. Although, I am aware that healing and faith is not something that you can instantly get...it takes some effort. We have an adversary that comes and tries to make us give up even before we begin to try to get up out of our hurt. For some people, he wins.

I know I don't want him to win, because he is already defeated. He has no victory, the Bible says so. That is where we can find hope. God is on our side no matter what, and He has the victory no matter what. When, Where, Why, and How Long shouldn't matter, because He has it figured out already. The key is to trust Him, just like you'd trust your best friend...or your significant other.

In my life, I have experienced so much, and I have made it through so much...it's incredible. I've gone through loss, grief, bullying, exclusion, betrayal, and much disappointment. So yeah, I'm a broken man. Have I let that stop me from saying that I believe there's a God? Absolutely not.

If there was no hope at all for me, I probably would not be here writing this blog...

With all that I've gone through...I realize that being mad at God won't make it better. In fact, clinging to Him gives me even more comfort...because He is a comforter. He knows why we are going through whatever we're going through...even though we might not understand why. Just the fact that He knows why, and that He'll use it to help someone one day just makes me feel a little better about it.

Right now is the time for me to continue reaching for God's hands to pull me through, instead of other things. I need to get up, and try to inch myself forward. I don't know where anyone's life may be, but I encourage you to keep looking to Him...even when things are good. Thinking that you're "all good" is probably the most prideful thing that someone could say. I've heard that so many times, and for a while I longed to be there...but now I realize that it wouldn't be honest. We always need God, and that is the truth (no matter what man has said). Because He is the only one who can truly make us whole again.

Listen to Whole again here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW8rSJFH9MI